Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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