Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
