Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
