I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize