Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just high enough for therapy.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
