Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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