We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
50% drunk capacity currently
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
