haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
