just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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