i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My vagina is officially offended.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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