I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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