Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
