She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
