Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So many bounce houses so little time
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
