a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
no. you can't hotbox the world.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
