are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
