I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
