Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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