Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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