okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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