listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
