If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
