I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize