Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
