i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
