Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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