and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm sobbing to NWA
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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