im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
