she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
