everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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