is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
