Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
