How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
