we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
