ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
