NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize