Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
