How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
