i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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