5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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