That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
NoShamevember. You game?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
