Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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