i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
