That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i think i have two assholes
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
