I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Still dying that you shit outside
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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