I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She has the best kind of daddy issues
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
