Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
