And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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