It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Help. Why am I so naked?
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