Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
