do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
