dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
