The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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