I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
