He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
