i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
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