Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
